Happy Taylor-is-Finally-Legal-in-All-50-States Day!

11 02 2010

Well Taylor, the long-awaited day has arrived. It’s probably seemed longer to many of us than it has to you. I hope you’re hiding in a bunker somewhere, because you and your virtue are in serious danger today, my dear boy. If you thought things were bad BEFORE (with Twilight MOMS asking you to sign their Team Taylor thongs – for anyone who missed this EPIC story, you can watch it here, it starts about 2 minutes in) you’re in for a hell of a ride (that’swhatshesaid) now. You’re really going to have to get over this aversion to being a sex symbol, cause I have news for you boy – you are sexyashell. The only thing that’s prevented your being jumped in the streets up to this point has been Chris Hansen and his threatening lovely TV show “To Catch a Predator.” I’m not even 25 yet and you’ve making me feel like a cougar, kiddo. But no more. I (and the rest of the fandom) can lust after you openly. Maybe TSwift will come crawling back now that she’ll no longer be risking jail time and a mug shot on Dateline NBC. I hope you’re taking some precautions today. Maybe Obama will lend you his Secret Service agents. I think you’ll probably need the protection more than he does. I’m glad you’ve reached this milestone, and just in time for me to see Valentine’s Day and ogle you in your Prom King glory. I can also order that lovely ALA poster than I’ve been hankering after for ages, but haven’t bought because it would have made me feel like a creeper to have an underage boy hanging on my wall. Hell, I might even by myself one of those infamous thongs. Brace yourself, my boy. I suspect this is the only beginning for you.

In honor of your special day, we have some smokin’ hot, sexy as hell, droolworthy, sex eyes, ogle-able photos of you that we can stare at for hours without feeling dirty (at least in a bad way) for the FIRST TIME EVER.

With lots of lust love,

My Never

One of my favorite pics, even though he's clothed.

Sweet Baby Jesus

It must have been cold that day...

...bloody hell

Boy knows how to work a suit

*swoon*

Aww

Straight up gangsta, yo

I like.the.leather. Holy hell.

And more leather

I'm sorry, but if this doesn't say "f*ck me?" nothing does. And the answer is yessss.

I wonder if he could bench press me.

Ay Dios Mio

Hot damn.

The best part of the SNL escapade: Those panty-dropping pictures.

Wet T-Shirt Contest World Champion

Yes, Please.

Either he just drank chocolate milk, or that's a 'stache.

Umm…I think I need to go take a cold shower or something. Whew.

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